CRAP Festival run down

Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council’s Climate Rescue Action Plan (CRAP) Festival takes place tomorrow at Pinnacle Park.

Dictator Dullard said “My CRAP festival will be good. It will give people a chance to learn how to go lots of lovely eco and environment friendly tasks to help save the planet.

We will have lots of lovely eco and environment friendly experts on hand who will be teaching people how to be eco and environment friendly.”

Amongst the activities on offer during the CRAP Festival will be

  • How to fill a plastic water bottle from a tap.
  • How to sort recyclable materials from non-recyclable rubbish.
  • How to use a black plastic bin bag in an eco and environmentally friendly manner.
  • How to ride a bicycle, including how to wear bicycle clips.
  • How to use Town Council funds to purchase a plastic gazebo when you already have one, but don’t know where it is.
  • How to use a candle to light a room (beginners only).
  • How to use a candle to keep warm (advanced level).
  • How to recycle the reams of paper produced by SaDTC as part of their eco and environmentally friendly CRAP.
  • How to reduce food waste by paying your Council Tax so that SaDTC can use the money at the White Elephant Enclosure, so you can’t afford to buy food in the first place.
  • How to heat an entire town using the hot air produced by Councillors at Hayloft Road.
  • How to change a light bulb.

Dictator Dullard will be available for photo opportunities throughout the event.

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