Festival future in doubt

Following the absolute shambles that was the Under a Waxing Spoon Festival, organiser Bob Holness of Slowboat Detraction has announced that he is calling time early on his contract to run the bar at the Smalltown Area Sports Hub (SASH).

This decision leaves the future of another Waxing Spoon Festival in doubt which, given that the Very, Very, Very Small Crowd who attended this year were severely disappointed, is probably a good thing.

Despite the presence of Slowboat Detraction’s Largest Mobile Bar in the Universe at this year’s event, staffing problems meant that only two people were available to pull pints, which led to half of the Very, Very, Very, Small Crowd giving up waiting and going home.

Mr Holness has struggled to make the SASH Clubhouse the New Top Music and Sports Entertainment Venue in Smalltown, with only a Teeny Tiny Crowd turning up to see any of the entertainment on offer. In fact it had been revealed that the majority of residents in Smalltown were unaware that any entertainment was taking place at the venue, as advertising and promotion was on a par with that of events at the White Elephant Enclosure.

Mr Holness had confirmed that the future of the Under a Waxing Spoon Festival will now be in the hands of the SASH Committee.

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