Top Secret results revealed

Recently published accounts for Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council show that so far the Top Secret Consultant employed on the advice of the Top Secret Consultants to offer programming advice for the White Elephant Enclosure has been paid £1,032.94 for two months worth of advice.

During these two months the WEE has been mostly closed. However, recently released figures show that the Five Film Club August showing of The Ladykillers, only managed to attract two attendees, paying a total of £10 – which didn’t cover the cost of purchasing the DVD.

Both the next Five Film Club screening of ’12 Angry Women’ and the David Towie tribute act were cancelled, the former because no tickets were sold and the latter because ticket sales were too low to make it worthwhile for the artiste.

The next Five Film Club could possibly follow the example set by the August offering, as no tickets have yet been sold.

Despite putting in ‘Cabaret Style Seating’ reducing the number of tickets available for The Comedy Club evening, part of a series of events introduced by the previous Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM), to 80 tickets, only 18 have been sold so far.

However, things could look up towards the end of the year, as the Top Secret Consultant paid to find new ideas to attract visitors to the WEE, has been slightly busy and has scheduled several performances for October, November and December.

He has obviously looked at some of the popular events and has scheduled a pantomime for the beginning of December, no doubt thinking that, as the Smalltown Pantomime Society always attracts large audiences, the similar will hold true for a touring panto. What he has failed to take into account is the ‘Parent, Family and Friends’ effect, which won’t apply in this case.

Quite how well this event will go down with the Smalltown Pantomime Society, as they realise that their long-running arrangement to perform the only pantomime in the village at the WEE has been upturned, remains to be seen.

Luckily, it is believed that an announcement will be made shortly, revealing the name of the next superb, most magnificent, amazing, incredible, safe-in-her-hands, improving, turning-around-the-fortunes of, saviour and she-has-no-idea-of-the-mammoth-some-might-say-impossible-task-ahead Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager.

And then, in the words of Dictator Dullard, everything will be ‘good‘.

One thought on “Top Secret results revealed

  1. maybe if it was advertised around the town on council boards where people could see it they might have more success in selling tickets. As far as i can see it is only advertised on the inside of the WEE and if you don’t go you don’t know. maybe a bit of common sense could be applied??

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