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The All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council’s genius ‘Festival of Nothing’ will begin tomorrow and is expected to attract a small number of walking boot wearing, rucksack toting, ‘I Love to go a’ Wandering‘ singing attendees.
The Festival of Nothing has been organised by ANYUSCC and funded with money from the Chernobyl-by-Sea Slush Fund and commissioned on behalf of the Partnership Aiming To Hopefuily Entice Tourists into Chernobyl-by-Sea (PATHETIC). It is hoped that it will celebrate the Somerset coast from Bream to Worlock Pier and will centre on the joys of walking, attracting tourists to the area.
The week-long event is expected to attract people who already like walking and will use well-established routes that anyone who enjoys walking will already know about.
Walkers can either join an organised walk or walk on their own, with distances ranging from 39 steps to 94 miles. Refreshments will not be provided and participants are advised to bring their own blister plasters. .
A spokesperson for ANYUSCC said “The Somerset Festival of Nothing” is an exciting idea we came up with one dreary Friday afternoon in the office to show that we really care about tourism in Somerset.
We could have come up with something more useful – such as spending the money on new facilities for visitors to our major tourist destinations in the county – for example putting a new water feature on the Seafront in Smalltown which would see an end to visitors asking if there’s anything to do in the town – but instead we’ve come up with this rather pathetic and incredibly cheap idea to encourage people to walk by calling it a ‘Festival’.
If this one goes well we plan to organise a Festival of Sewage next year which will highlight the wonderful coastal waters in the region.”