Spirit of Carnivoo lives on

During the recent Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council Finance and Misappropriation Committee meeting Councillors considered a number of grant applications received from a variety of groups and organisations in Smalltown and Dullbridge. Most were approved without comment.

However, the request from the Pride – a Really Unique and Diverse Event (PRUDE) for grant funding to help run the second event next year saw Cllr Robert NotBothered get a bit bothered.

Speaking during the meeting Cllr NotBothered said “I’m a bit bothered by this if I’m honest. I’d prefer to see us fund more manly things than this, for example the grant requested by the Dullbridge Boxing Club.

If we must award a grant to PRUDE can I suggest we put in a proviso that the group must also obtain grant funding from other sources, that way if the event doesn’t go ahead we can get our money back.”

His remarks led to squirming from other members of the committee who were fearful that making the PRUDE group jump through extra hoops to receive their money could lead to accusations of prejudice.

However, Cllr Al DeValues agreed saying “As one of only two Councillors who can use a calculator can I draw your attention to the PRUDE finances? They have zero money in their bank account which leads me to believe that the event wasn’t a success as it didn’t make a profit.”

A steely faced Deputy Dictator Sherry replied “You will recall that I started this group last year, after a successful meeting where I got everyone together. Under my guidance and without any help from me whatsoever they organised a brilliant event for their first year and I’m sure they can pull it off again.”

Councillors breathed a sigh of relief as they awarded the group a grant with no strings attached.

Amongst Smalltown and Dullbridge residents not everyone was in agreement and the spirit of shamed Carnivoo Chairman Bill Old soon reared it’s ugly head, with one person asking “If PRUDE hadn’t been awarded a grant would they have claimed discrimination?”

Another resident went even further claiming that money shouldn’t be spent on funding “deviants to flounce in the park”.

A group of Deviants hit back saying “Why shouldn’t we flounce in the park if we want to? There’s no law against it. We are proud to flounce and if you don’t like it stay out of the park. Up the flouncers.”

SomersetClive has received an invitation from the Deviants to attend their next flouncing session in the park and we will be reporting back on what goes on during these events later in the year. Although we are slightly fearful that we have been chosen as the sacrifice to the Gods of Deviancy.

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