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Smalltown and Dullbridge’s Famous Physiologist Mystic Mick takes a look backwards for a change to remind readers of his predictions for 2023 and to see exactly how uncannily accurate he was.
May
Mistress Bones and Lady Brassy’s Smalltown Shops (SS) groups Commemorative Coronation Celebratory Cake Cavalcade fails to attract a single visitor or resident to Smalltown Main Street, with everyone (including Main Street shop owners) preferring to mark the occasion by watching the ceremony at home on their television sets. Mountains of free but not really free cake are sent to land fill.
Completely correct again! I’m amazing, aren’t I? The SS’s Commemorative Coronation Celebratory Cake Cavalcade was such a disaster that Mistress Bones and Lady Brassy didn’t even both to organise it. Mostly because Mistress Bones’ close-friend and employee Squire Teflon was unable to guarantee grant funding from Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council, as he is no longer in a position of power.
Cllr. Robb Apprentice-Candlestick Maker sits his Key Stage 2 Standardised Assessment Tests (SATS) and eagerly awaits his results. He blames his absence from SaD Town Council meetings on the need to revise.
And another 110% correct prediction and I’m delighted to reveal that Cllr Apprentice-Candlestick Maker did quite well in his SATS, although he is having extra English lessons this term to help him conquer his fear of grammar and spelling.
The first of a hoard of “Welcome to Sadgebore” signs will fail to sell on popular auction site oBay.
And again! Not a single sign has been sold. Instead they’ve been chucked in the metal recycling bin at Fridgpond Civic Amenity Centre.