The BeFuddled Party has been reduced to advertising for a candidate to stand for a seat in the new Smalltown and Dullbridge, Fridgpond Unitary Constituency (SaDFUC).
Group Leader Phil Crivens said “Please. We are desperate now. Someone must know someone who wants to be a BeFuddled Missing Person. We won’t stand a chance of winning, so you won’t have to do anything, but we really need a name to go on the ballot paper. Any name.”
Applicants are required to submit a handwritten CV covering at least two sheets of A4 and detailing why they want to be a Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for the BeFuddled Party. Applications will also be accepted from anyone who uses the sheets of A4 to draw their favourite tree.
The closing date is the end of September, unless no applications are received, in which case the closing date will be rolled forward until a candidate is enticed off their fence to apply.
Meanwhile, the Illiberal Party are due to announce the name of their candidate imminently and Smalltown and Dullbridge residents can rest easy as it WON’T be Squire Teflon. Sighs of relief all round.