Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council has found itself the object of derision this week, following the decision to grant approval for a scheme to place trees in wheelie bins along Smalltown Seafront.
The scheme has been suggested by resident Gloria Gaynor who managed to secure a grant of £5000 from the Chernobyl-by-Sea Slush Fund earlier this year.
Ms Gaynor had approached the landowner, the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, for permission and, unable to make the decision themselves, ANYUSCC asked SaDTC for their comments.
At an Extraordinary Meeting held at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) on Tuesday night Councillors agreed that it was a most excellent idea which would make the Seafront more attractive.
Professional Fun Police Officer Councillor Patsy Knickers, author of the SaD Climate Rescue Action Plan (CRAP) opposed the plan saying “Planting trees in plastic wheelie bins will be bad for the environment.”
The news of the approval for the scheme has been met with fury by residents with most claiming that there is an obvious reason why there aren’t already any trees on Smalltown Seafront – they won’t survive the salt air and prevailing gale force winds the area is known for.
The majority of residents also commented that the scheme was a waste of money as the trees would be vandalised within minutes if they did manage to survive the weather conditions. Many laid the blame for the idea on SaDTC with a resident saying “Another crazy idea from SaDTC. They just love spending our money on stupid things.”
Former-Councillor Fencesitter was forced to spend an entire day responding to angry residents telling them repeatedly “This isn’t a Town Council idea” . Unfortunately Former-Councillor Fencesitter was sitting on a very high fence at the time and the strong winds blew his words in the opposite direction meaning that no one heard him.
BeFuddled Party Councillor Banish Barracuda also joined the fray whispering “Errrrm. Couple of errrm points I should errm mention. Errrrm. Neither ANYUSCC or errrm SaD Town errrrm Council have been asked for errrrm money for these trees. The errrrm only question before errrrm us was whether to errrrm give permission. It’s not errrrm our fault errrrm this errrrm time.” Cllr Barracuda’s words were drowned out by a mild Breeze.
Residents refused to be pacified and continued to hurl abuse in the direction in SaDTC.
The trees are due to be placed on Smalltown Promenade during this month to coincide with ANYUSCC’s Festival of Nothing and Dictator Dullard’s Climate Rescue Action Plan (CRAP Plan), however given how long it takes for anything to get done around here that timescale looks to be impossible.