Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council has announced its intention to introduce a ‘Beautification Grant’. Applications will be invited from residents in Smalltown who are able to supply hairdressing, makeup and botox to Dictator Dullard and Deputy Dictator Sherry.
Smalltown Administration Guru, Katie Global, said “We are inviting applications from hairdressers, makeup artists, cosmetic surgeons, fashion stylists, plasterers and morticians who believe they have the requisite skills to improve the appearance of both Dictator Dullard and Deputy Dictator Sherry.
With both of them constantly on the look out for photo opportunities it is important that we receive applications only from those people with 24/7/365 availability, because you never know when either of them will spot a camera.”
Applicants for barbering services for the Mayor’s Representative, Cllr Robert NotBothered, are advised not to waste the ink in their biros as there is nothing that can be done to improve his appearance.
Deputy Dictator Cruella Sherry added “and there’s no money in the budget to improve the appearance of (Previously) Smalltown’s Most Popular Person Cllr Jock McCads either.
As far as I’m concerned I’d rather we spent the money on his disappearance.”