Leader of the Smalltown and Dullbridge BeFuddled Party, Cllr Banish Barracuda has almost stepped off his fence to react to accusations that his party has been extremely quiet over the position of (Previously) Smalltown’s Most Popular Person (Dullbridge Public Enemy No.1) Cllr Jock McCads.
McCads had faced accusations from the Smalltown and Dullbridge Smalltown Administration Deputy (SADSAD), Eileen Mutton, that he was a ‘sex pest’ who ‘should be tied up by the goolies and left to rot’.
The local BeFuddled Party had promised swift and effective retribution as part of their oft-quoted ‘Honest, Open and Transparent’ style of governance. Instead there has been a deafening silence for almost three months.
However, Cllr Barracuda recently responded to criticism of his party to whisper quietly to anyone who was within earshot “A errm panel of the County level errm BeFuddled errm party met and the errrm BeFuddled Group of errrm councillors at the errrm All-New-Yet-Unerrmproved Somerset Cuonty errrm Council fully endorsed the errrm. findings of the errrm Standards Committee.
Jock errrm McCads has been errrm suspended as a member of the errrm BeFuddled group errrm until he has errrm completed all the errrm actions recommended.
I errrm think he has errrrm completed the errrm training and other errrm actions.
Readmission to the BeFuddled Group will be errrm dependent on a errrm party panel receiving errrm confirmation that errrm his punishment has errrm been completed and Jock can prove that he errrm no longer react to a errrm woman wearing a low cut errrrm top.
He errrrm is still a member of errrm the BeFuddled Party and is still both a errrm Smalltown and Dullbridge errrm Town and the All-New-Yet-Unerrmproved Somerset Cuonty Councillor, errrm albeit he is errrrm not allowed to attend errrm Council meetings nor errrm enter the errrm four mile exclusion errrm zone set up errrm specifically for errrm him around errrm the Hayloft Road Palace errrrm Retirement Home for errrrm Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and errrrm Others).
I am errrrm not going to errrm comment on the errrrm cost if his conversion therapy which has been errrrm met by residents of Smalltown and errrm Dullbridge because, as Chair errrm of the errrm SaD Town Council Finance and Misappropriation Committee, I am errrm currently unsure of which errrrm budget this will errrm come from.”
SomersetClive understands that news about the Cllr McCads scandal is the only information that Deputy Dictator Cllr Cruella Sherry is happy to see released into the public domain.