Somerset confirms it hates trees

Residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge can look forward to seeing a flurry of chainsaws over the coming months, as the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council deploy a team of Tree Removal Experts with Equipment (TREE) in the towns.

Having failed to regularly maintain trees in the area for years, ANYUSCC has confirmed that, following a survey, several trees have been nominated for the chop.

Top of the hit list is the ‘Dangerous Black Poplar Tree’ on the corner of Vicarage and Barrow Road which is still scheduled for destruction, even though it is currently looking magnificent in full leaf and despite surviving the heavy storms with no loss of limb during the first few months of the year.

Dictator Dullard agreed to the removal of the rare Black Poplar tree, having attended a meeting with ANYUSCC’s Branch Holder for Trees, Pete Bitterman, Council Leader Phil Crivens and also taking along one of her friends for advice.

Although a protest group had managed to save the tree when the TREE workers first turned up, Dictator Dullard claimed that she had ‘no idea’ that the residents in her constituency had such strong feelings about the removal of the tree and privately agreed to the destruction before taking the matter to Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council and getting the agreement of councillors. The wishes of residents were ignored.

Having failed to regularly maintain trees in Smalltown and Dullbridge for years, Branch Holder Mr Bitterman has now identified 35 trees in Smalltown’s Chateau Gardens which he believes need either drastic pruning or complete removal.

A recent planning application to carry out work to the 35 trees, which are the subject of Tree Preservation Orders and which amounts to almost every tree in Chateau Park, was agreed by Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Councillors, who appear to dislike trees as much as Mr Bitterman.

It has been confirmed that the TREE operatives will not be using their chainsaws in Dullbridge, as all trees in the town have previously been removed by developers keen to tarmac over the entire town.

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