Dictator jumps the gun

Dictator Dullard sups tea with her new SaDOES

Tuesday’s Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council Full Council meeting saw Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Cllr Kelsey Dullard announce to the assembled Councillors the names of the lucky pair who will be the Smalltown and Dullbridge Official Emissary Students (SaDOES).

Selected from members of the local Armed Forces, Cllr Dullard last year picked one representative from HMS Smalltown and another from RAF Smalltown, which saw consternation from the 94th Battalion Smalltown’s Commanding Officer, Colonel Mustard.

Speaking at the time Colonel Mustard said “Well, she can forget all about borrowing one of our tanks to use as a giant teapot now.”

Anxious to make amends for her mistake and realising that she needs to keep the army onside to thwart any attempted coup, this year Dictator Dullard has selected two representatives from the Army to be her SaDOES.

Normally, once the announcement has been made, the Mayor will pose for photographs. However, Dictator Dullard jumped the gun and tipped off the paparazzi last week and the photos have already been published.

When we queried this with a member of staff at SaDTC we were told “Yes, she arranged her own photo opportunity away from the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others).

She said she didn’t want the background to the pictures to be full of an assortment of Councillors scratching their heads and picking their noses, as they usually do.”

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