Squire Teflon recently posed a series of questions, no doubt Albanian Whiskey fuelled, as he seems to have a problem with remembering the answers.
So it’s a good job that SomersetClive is on hand to be able to provide the answers for him.
“What is happening to MY town?”
Firstly, it’s not your town. It’s OUR town and one of the reasons it’s in such a mess is due to the years of neglect from Smalltown and Dullbridge Town, Sadgebore District and Somerset Cuonty Councils. All of which you were a member of. It’s not fair to totally blame the BeFuddleds for everything, although admittedly they haven’t done anything to improve things. Mainly because they are out of their depth and don’t know how to, but instead of knocking them you could do something constructive such as, hmmm, Clive needs to think – something radical such as working with them to improve Smalltown and Dullbridge for everyone?
“Where did MY playground go??”
Ah, yes. The playground on the Seafront which you persuaded the previous Smalltown Head Administration Guru (SHAG) Tanya Summer to push through on the quiet during the Corvid pandemic, without consulting anyone. Despite you knowing full well that the area in question is covered by a water-tight covenant which prevents any development on this particular area of land.
“Where did MY coach driver housing go?“
‘Your’ coach driver housing was to be funded as part of the Smalltown Revolution Project. You and the SHAG chucked all of the non Councillors – who had been instrumental in getting the funding in the first place – off the sub-committee when you took full control of the council during the Corvid pandemic.
You then changed the entire project which took out the coach reception, the trim trail, the theatre toilets and downgraded the upgrade of the theatre seats.
“Where did the street lights and road repairs go?”
Smalltown and Dullbridge were always at the bottom of Somerset Cuonty Council’s list of priorities when it came to road repairs and street lights. Even though the previous Suitcase Holder for Roads and Transport (RAT) was your friend and fellow illiberal member Jim Cock-Wombleman. Wasn’t it YOUR Council that spent over two years thinking about replacing some of the light bulbs which had stopped working on the South Promenade?
“Where did MY gull proof bins go??“
This proposal was originally put to Sadgebore District Council (of which you were a member), however the wheels of Sadgebore moved slowly and the project has now fallen to the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council (of which you are a member), where the wheels move so slowly they are in danger of falling off. However the good news is that you and your fellow members on the SaDTC Town Unimprovements Committee have decided to ask the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council to consider installing new bins. They will now need time to think about the idea.
“We can all play war games. But I will always win. The reason why??
I will always do my best for MY town.”
Especially if includes spending almost £1 million pounds on YOUR White Elephant Enclosure – imagine how many playgrounds/coach driver housings/gull proof bins that could have bought and how many potholes it would have filled. If your previous record is anything to go by then your idea of ‘best’ doesn’t align with the dictionary definition.
“It was all paid for and where is it now. £470k. And where are the final accounts?”
That’s a very good question. What did happen to that £470K?
You sat on all the relevant committees (the White Elephant Enclosure Mismanagement and the ‘sea front improvement’ sub-committee. You oversaw the whole lot. A lot of people would love to know what happened to the money. A grant was certainly obtained for the WEE toilets, but seems to have been diverted else where. Quite where is the big question.
Blaming others for all of this only works if your hands were clean in the first place. Unfortunately your hands bear the marks of someone who has spent too much time engaging in dirty tricks and no amount of white washing will ever see them clean.