End of Term Report

Dictator Dullard has announced the runner-up to herself in the End of Term Report Awards.

Deputy Headmistress Patsy Knickers
BeFuddled Party

Cllr Knickers has worked very hard this term. She has spent a lot of time and paper to warn us all of the lovely serious risk to life as a result of the Cost of Living Crisis. This led to SaD Town Council introducing our own ‘We Are All Going To Die’ policy.

As a part of that she was instrumental in setting up the SaDTC Climate Rescue Action Plan (CRAP) which will see us waste even more time and paper on teaching residents the obvious.

I was so delighted to see Cllr Knickers putting so much effort into CRAP, that I have taken her project over and as such it is now MY CRAP.

As a Professional Fun Police Officer Cllr Knickers was delighted to chair our Dead and Buried Committee. D&B held two meetings over the last term and I know she was very disappointed to have missed one.

She also sits on the Finance and Misappropriation, Town Unimprovements and Planning and Scheming Committees.
She has made an excellent contribution to the latter, conducting field trips to visit every proposed planning site to look for things to object to.

She has successfully opposed anything which could possibly lead to residents having fun, including the application from the Dross Bar to increase their opening hours, as well as voicing her vehement opposition to any plans for a water park feature on Smalltown seafront, and the Festival of Fireworks.

She successfully managed to get her name in the media with the introduction by Sadgebore District Council of signs banning fun on Smalltown Promenade.

She has worked very, very, very hard and has attended a total of 34 out of 35 possible meetings, which is a total of 97%. She has also completed any extra hours of homework. I have awarded Cllr Knickers my award for Top Student.

Effort: 4/10
Achievement: 2/10
A Silver Star.
Conclusion: Deputy Dictator Knickers is a welcome addition to my triumvirate.

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