In an extraordinary statement released yesterday, Dictator Kelsey Dullard and Deputy Dictator Eugenie Sherry revealed that they would both be willing to continue being Councillors and sitting on their chairs at Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council, if Councillor Jock McCads were to leave the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others).
Dullard and Sherry have been councillors for over a year, whilst McCads has been a SaD Town Councillor for over ten years and is also a Smalltown Posh Ward Councillor on the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council. The three are all BeFuddled Party members.
But, after a number of rumoured disputes, their beloved bond has taken a hit and now Dullard and Sherry are reportedly ‘barely speaking’ to Cllr McCads. The row started after Cllr McCads criticised Dictator Dullard’s style of Mayoring.
McCads, who served as Mayor between 1998/99, had told Cllr Dullard that he felt she was making the position all about her, and had forgotten that the Town Council comprises 18 councillors, telling her that the power had gone to her head. McCads is said to have told Dullard “O, wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as others see us! It wad frae monie a blunder free us, An’ foolish notion: What airs in dress an’ gait wad lea’e us.”
He further upset her by telling her that her Mayoral Reports were long and boring, suggesting that she “Listen ya bam awa an’ stop talkin keech”.
However, the final straw is said to have been Cllr McCads’ recent admission of guilt in the sexual harassment case brought against him by the Smalltown and Dullbridge Smalltown Administration Deputy (SADSAD), Eileen Mutton.
Cllrs Dullard and Sherry were said to have been disappointed that Cllr McCads hadn’t told them about his indiscretions when they first occurred and instead they’d had to hear it from Ms Mutton, leaving them feeling shocked and in a complete tizzy.
McCads acknowledged that “the last few months haven’t been easy”, but was initially keen to pour water on the claims, stating: “We’re the best of friends – as always. Kelsey and Eugenie have always been there for me, through thick and thin. And I’ve been there for them – explaining how the council works to the best of my ability. It’s not my fault they haven’t understood a word I’ve said and have made mistake after mistake.”
Cllr McCads is known to be a fan-favourite amongst residents of Smalltown and still has his supporters in the BeFuddled Party, most notably BeFuddled boss, Cllr Banish Barracuda, who has made clear he is still backing McCads. However, the BeFuddleds were said to be in crisis over the statement from Dullard and Sherry, with reports that the duo wanted to pull the plug on their working relationship with McCads for good.
McCads is currently on a break from the Council Chambers and is not permitted to enter Hayloft Road Palace. It is not known when he will return.