End of Term Report

Today SomersetClive publishes Dictator Dullard’s thoughts on her predecessor.

Former Mayor Councillor Mark Facelift
Illiberal Party

I feel I have a lot in common with Cllr Facelift, as both of us have been Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge without actually living here.

When I first took up office Cllr Facelift was living in a cupboard at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others), claiming that he believed that it was a ‘Boarding School’, we had to go through quite a lengthy process to evict him and he now attends as a Day Boy.

He is a member of the Finance and Misappropriation, Town Unimprovements, and Human Resources Secret Committees – when he can be bothered to turn up.

Cllr Facelift has attended only 11 out of a possible 19 meetings, giving him an attendance rating of only 56%, however, it should be noted that it is a long way to Smalltown from Fridgpond.

He has missed four of my seven very important Full Council meetings claiming that “When I was Mayor I didn’t drone on and on about it like that woman does.” I can not imagine who he is talking about, but this sort of attitude helps no one.

Despite having made the most of all the available photo opportunities and ceremonial occasions during his time as Mayor, he seems to have decided to take it easy this term and has managed to remain one of the more silent members of the council.

The only occasion he has said anything of importance was when he suggested that it might be a good idea if Councillors were given an idea of how much was in the grants budget before we started handing out the cash. Despite that, we still managed to give away all the money in one go.

Although known as a man of few words, I am not sure if he has now run out of things to say or if his desire to continue as a Councillor has waned.

Effort: 0/10
Achievement: 1/10
Conclusion: Councillor Facelift really needs to pull his finger out and either get on with job of getting involved with SaD Town Council business or admit that he is getting far too old for all the travelling

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