Missing Person confirms he wants to continue to be Missing

The Smells Illiberal group has announced that they have selected current Missing Person, Tim Teepee, to be the party’s Parliamentary Candidate in the next General Election.

Mr Teepee is the sitting Missing Person for Smells, which currently includes the Smalltown and Dullbridge area. However, boundary changes which are due to be decided in June, could see the formation of a separate new constituency which will include Fridgpond, Smalltown and Dullbridge.

With Mr Teepee deciding to stay in the safer, traditionally Illiberal territory of the Smells constituency, it remains to be seen who will be named as a potential representative for Smalltown and Dullbridge.

Mr Teepee said: “It is a huge relief to be selected as the candidate for the seat of Smells. Obviously, the boundary changes will mean that Smalltown, Dullbridge, Barrow and Breamwill no longer be in my patch.

I will miss having to ignore their complaints and concerns, in favour of serving my own interests, but with Fridgpond being a staunchly Working Man Party supporting area it would make no sense for me to abandon my safe seat in Smells to be roundly defeated in the new constituency.”

Mr Teepee will face the BeFuddled Party candidate, Teresa Stunt, in the polls. Ms Stunt was elected as the Smells area Missing Person in 2010, ending a 94 year run of Illiberal Missing Persons. Her victory followed a ‘protest vote’ from the electorate after the previous Illiberal, Dick Duckhouse-Emeryboard, was revealed to have fiddled his expenses. Ms Stunt is hoping that the current disillusionment with the Illiberal Government could see her sweep to victory once more.

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