The second on our series of End of Term Reports, as prepared by Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Cllr Kelsey Dullard.
Cllr Banish Barracuda –
BeFuddled Party
I do wish Cllr Barracuda would speak up in class. I am sure he has some lovely ideas which he could share with us, but his habit of putting his hand up to answer a question and then mumbling his answer is infuriating. Speak up or shut up man.
Head of Mathematics Cllr Barracuda is chair of the Finance and Misappropriation Committee and has fallen out with Deputy Dictator Sherry over her plan to increase the budget for the White Elephant Enclosure.
His request that the WEE Mismanagement Committee cut their expenditure and increase use of the venue led directly to the departure of the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM), which some may think was a good thing but which has actually led to Cllr Sherry having to hold even more secret meetings.
His proposal to increase Council Tax for residents was deeply unpopular and I am glad that he had to take the blame for this, rather than Cllr Sherry (who was actually at fault).
Cllr Barracuda is also a member of the Town Unimprovements and Dead and Buried committees. He finds the latter ‘boring’ and skipped the last meeting.
He is a member of the Task Force for Economic and Tourism Advantage (TaFFETA), which has set up the Funding Taskforce to Inject Life into the Economy (FuTILE), and will also be a member of the Town Bored once that has been set up by FuTILE. That work gas involves him spending some time asking people if they have any good ideas to improve Smalltown as because he is unable to think of any himself.
His attendance at 95% is quite good, having attended 20 out of a possible 21 meetings.
Even though he is the leader of the local BeFuddled Party you wouldn’t know it as Cllr Barracuda lacks the confidence to self-promote and tends to shy away from any photo opportunities. This is fine, as it allows me to hog the limelight. However I do feel he should give up his leader role so that I can take on the job. It’s a role that I feel would benefit from having me in charge.
Effort: 1/10
Achievement: 0/10
Conclusion: Cllr Barracuda has all the personality and influence of a wet fish. He does not have the courage of his convictions and is easily cowed by the sight of myself and my two Deputy Dictators Cllrs Sherry and Knickers. This would have been a more glowing report, but unfortunately I fell out with Cllr Barracuda towards the end of term, over his refusal to hang, draw, quarter, flail and crucify Cllr Jock McCads for his inappropriate behaviour.