Cllr Aaron Bradawl, Chairman of Sadgebore District Council, together with a handful of yokel Smalltown and Dullbridge Sadgebore District Councillors, gathered in Pinnacle Park on Friday to mark the passing of Sadgebore.
Leading the tributes Cllr Bradawl said “Yer, tis a trulee rementous occasion to mark the end of thic Distric Concil. In thic yer capsool yer there’s over 45 years of istree. Oive ritten a farewell speech what Oive put in yer and Oo knows? In fiftee years toime summon moite dig this yer capsool up and wonder what the ell it is. They’ll fink ‘What Clot rote this?’ and they’d be rite. Course, thas if they can reed.
Oi met a man tother day, 24 years old and bred up on them there compooters. Oi arsked im to rite summat and jewnowot ee tole me ee casnt rite! Can ee imagine? Ee casnt rite. Mind ee, it were Fridgpond.
Oican barely reed or rite. But Oi have been teached to use one of them there compooter things. Snot easy Oi tell ee, two years ago Oi casnt turn it on, but after a lot of ard work Oi knows ow to turn it on now. Casnt do nuffin wiv it once s’on mind.
We’ve ad a lot of fun as councillors though, ant we? Took us ages to find a piece ov green land in Dullbridge to be able to bury this, because we’ve granted planning permission for housing everywhere else in thic town.
Thanks to everee one yer for their support. We made a triffic teem dint we? Thas what sawl bout, plottin and sceemin togever to make sure Fridgpond ges all the cash and Dullbridge ges awl the houses. A triffic teem.”
Squire Teflon was on hand to offer his commiserations and made sure to stand centre stage in a hi-viz jacket to ensure he kept a high profile, he was ably assisted in this by his faithful lapdog and Official Holder of the Umbrella, Cllr Al Incendiary.