There have been renewed calls for the Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge, Cllr Kelsey Dullard, to tender her resignation.
The move comes after it was revealed that the Mayor, which is purely a ceremonial civic position, has been making decisions on what is best for residents of the two towns, without consultation.
This weekend saw the Mayor hold the first of her ‘Let Them Eat Cake Gala Extravaganza and Ball’, a black tie event held exclusively for those who could afford the cost of a ticket in order to party with the Mayor.
Several BeFuddled Party members partook of the invite and turned up to Mingle with the Mayor. Tickets to the event were priced at £45 each and several residents questioned the price given that we are in the midst of the Cost of Living Crisis, with many families in the area having to turn to food banks to survive.
“Look at them rich toffs” said Oliver Twist, a Dullbridge street orphan who had walked five miles to press his nose up against the window of the venue in the hope that a party-goer would toss him a crust of bread. “I’ve heard they’ve got vol-au-vents and are having a three course meal. Meanwhile I’m starving. They pretend they care, but only when it suits them.“
Cllr Dullard was overheard telling BeFuddled Party Member of Parliament No-Hoper, Theresa Stunt “Those peasants really are revolting, aren’t they? Someone chuck them some cake.”
During the event, Cllr Dullard announced that she, and she alone, had decided to revamp the role of Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge and will henceforth this be known as ‘Her Regal Slyness, Countess, Baroness, Duchess, Queen Repugnant, Lady Mayoress of Smalltown, Dullbridge and All She Surveys and Some Parts She Hasn’t Seen Yet‘. Cllr Dullard also used the occasion to award herself a ‘Best Headteacher in the World‘ mug.
From now on residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge, together with all Councillors, will be expected to doff their caps and curtsey when in the presence of Cllr Dullard and Councillors will be declared ‘Surplus to Requirements‘ as Cllr Dullard will be undertaking all decisions on her own, as she is still under the misapprehension that she knows best and is thus entitled to do so.