Seasonal Smalltown Spat repeated

Lady Penelope Brazen-Brassy

Members of Squire Teflon’s close-friend and employer Mistress Bones and Lady Brassy of Easton-under-Water’s Smalltown Shops (SS) group received yet another firm dressing down by the latter prior to Christmas.

A shopkeeper in Main Street said “Lady Brassy totally lost it. Again. She posted a full on rant in the SS group chat on WhatsCrap, telling us that we are all ‘very, very, very useless’ at promoting our own businesses and she doesn’t see why she should have to do it for us.

To be honest, I don’t remember any of us actually asking her to promote our businesses for us. We always managed perfectly well before she came along.

We certainly didn’t bother with these day long events which close Main Street and make it difficult for shoppers to visit us.

You should have seen the language she used too. Absolutely disgusting. Called us a bunch of ‘f-ing, f-ing, f-ing morons’. You don’t hear that sort of language in Dullbridge, let alone expect to hear it from someone who purports to be a Lady.

She should stick to what she knows – flogging off her old clothes.”

Several members of the SS group are reportedly so upset by the tone used in the message that they are considering refusing to join in with the plans for the Smalltown Shops Commemorative Coronation Celebratory Cake Cavalcade.

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