CPC seeks approval for increase

Criminal Police Commissioner Mike Shellfish is seeking the views of residents in Smalltown and Dullbridge to his proposal to increase the police proportion of council tax by at six percent, which equates to an extra £10 for an average property.

Mr Shellfish defended the proposed rise saying “In percentage terms this is one percent less than the seven percent increase put forward by Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council to pay for the White Elephant Enclosure.

I know some people say that policemen are rare and you never see one, but you have even less chance of seeing someone who has purchased a ticket for an event at the WEE.”

Somerset Police are looking at a funding deficit of £3.2 million in 2023/24, this sum is equivalent to 80 police staff, or two thirds of our vehicles, or the running costs of a third of our police stations, or half of the cost of my salary, expenses and office staff.

The loss of any of these would have terrible consequences for residents in Somerset and that’s why it is vital that we increase our share of the council tax. However, I really would like to hear from residents to ascertain their views, which I will ignore much the same as I did last year. I have put together a survey to give people the chance to comment.”

The survey, which should take a few minutes to complete, is below. All answers should be completed with an orange ball point pen. Answers not completed in orange ball point will be ignored.

Questions

  1. Are you human? YES/NO
    (Respondees answering NO to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)
  2. Do you know what a Policeman is? YES/NO
    (Respondees answering NO to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)
  3. Have you ever seen a Policeman? YES/NO
    (Respondees answering NO to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)
  4. Have you ever asked a Policeman for directions? YES/NO
    (Respondees answering NO to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)
  5. Have you ever asked a Policeman the time? YES/NO
    (Respondees answering NO to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)
  6. Do you enjoy watching Police/crime drama on the television? YES/NO
    (Respondees answering NO to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)
  7. Have you ever been a victim of crime? YES/NO
    (Respondees answering YES to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)
  8. Have you ever dialled 999 and had a response within minutes? YES/NO
    (Respondees answering NO to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)
  9. Have you ever seen a Policeman laugh? YES/NO
    (Respondees answering NO to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)
  10. Did you know that I laugh every time I check my bank balance because I’m doing a job that no one believes is necessary and I get paid shed loads of money for nothing? YES/NO
    (Respondees answering YES to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)
  11. Are you happy to pay more money for me to continue to keep getting paid money for old rope? YES/NO
    (Only the opinions of Respondees answering YES to the above question will be included in this survey’s results)
  12. Is there anyone left to still respond to this survey? Your opinions matter. YES/NO
    (Respondees answering YES to the above question need NOT continue with this survey)

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