Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council has finally got around to advertising for a new Smalltown Head of Accounts and Malfeasance (SHAM), some nine months after the previous incumbent left the role.

In the intervening period the Smalltown and Dullbridge Smalltown Administration Deputy (SADSAD), Eileen Mutton had been promoted to the position of Irresponsible Finance Officer, however, her over-reliance on the book ‘Accounting for Dummies‘ led to several mistakes in the council accounting procedures. Unfortunately these errors saw SaDTC fail the recent Audit Report and Sums Examination (ARSE).

The job is described as ‘challenging‘, which it undoubtedly has been in the past, as the previous SHAM was required to hide as much of the money spent on Squire Teflon’s pet progects as possible.

SaDTC describes itself as being responsible for the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers -(and Others), three cemetaries, and (checks notes) the ‘thriving‘ White Elephant Enclosure. Whilst people do tend to exaggerate their abilities on their Curriculum Vitaes, this is the first time SomersetClive has ever seen a potential employer do the same.

The successful applicant will be expected to know how to add up and subtract, have excellent attention to detail and be able to complete their homework on time. In what is being described as a ‘novel‘ approach for SaDTC the vacancy also details that ‘honesty and integrity are essential qualities‘.

The closing date for applications is Friday 27th January and interviews will take place from 6th February.

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