The ancient Somerset Wassup tradition will be kept alive this year at cider farms throughout the county, as scrumpy drinkers offer their thanks to the Goddess of Apples and pray for a good harvest in the autumn.
The Wassup ceremony can appear baffling to those who weren’t born and bred in Somerset, so SomersetClive has produced this handy cut out and keep guide on what to expect if you are intending to visit a cider farm during this period.
Participants will need to get their attire right in order to fit in. Men and women should wear brown corduroy trousers, accessorised with twine which should be tied around the waist and below the knees. Flat caps are optional, but a piece of straw dangling from the lips is mandatory.
It is important that everyone attending is fully aware of all the lyrics to ‘Drink up Thy Zider’, ‘I am a Zider Drinker’ and ‘Where be thic Blackbird to?’ and is prepared to sing all three songs on a continual basis.
An ability to drink vast amounts of cider is compulsory. If you can’t manage more than two pints without falling over you will probably be better off staying at home.
After three pints attendees are encouraged to bumble around, bumping into other attendees and hailing each other with the traditional greeting ‘Wassup?’. There are several correct responses to this, including “Oil be fine affer thic pint. Ow be ee?”, “Oaright me babber? Ee baint sin me zider, ave ee?” and “Arka ee!
If you don’t feel as if you can drink any more then it is perfectly acceptable to say” “Me eads urtin. My azwell gwoam” or “I casn’t drink annuver gurt un. Get I un arf.”
Under no circumstances should you say “This is jolly good fun, isn’t it?” or “I say, is that a dead rat in the bottom of that barrel?“. Either of these phrases will immediately mark you out as an incomer.
Once all Wassup participants have completed the initiation ceremony and can no longer walk in a straight line then the action really heats up, with a visit to the orchard. Everyone will be expected to stagger from tree to tree waving their underwear in the air to scare away any living thing.
Do feel free to fall asleep under the nearest hedgerow but be prepared to wake up in the morning feeling slightly damp and smelling of urine.
If you follow the advice contained here then you should find yourself alive and well by Monday.
WARNING. There may be Morris Dancers at the event. It is best to steer well clear of these people and you should never ever try to engage them in conversation.