CliveNation in conjunction with SomersetClive is proud to present the Christmas Pantomime, with an all-star cast and seats more comfortable than those at the White Elephant Enclosure, we invite you to join us for an amateur production of the world premiere of The Princess and the Forty Thieves. Showing thrice daily.
Our story opens deep in the heart of Somerset, where the Squire of Teflon rules the sleepy little villages of Smallvillia and Dullford with a rod. Of iron.
The Squire is used to getting his own way and woe-betide anyone who foils his plans for the Squire is not to be crossed.
The Squire purchased a Princess from Baron McGoat for a single gold coin many years ago and since then the villagers of Smallvillia and Dullford have paid through the nose for this folly.
Princess Wranglers have been and gone, trying to tame the Princess and bring her spending under control, but to no avail. What can be done?
Act Two. Scene One.
Somewhere deep in the heart of Dullford Forest.
Robyn Hoodie (Former Councillor Ellen Proves) is surrounded by her faithful Not-Very-Happy Men, including Friar Turk (Business Tycoon Lex Turkey).
Robyn (slaps thigh before speaking) – That Princess has been locked up alone in the Squire of Teflon’s Palace for over a year now with only the Magnificent Princess Wrangler of the First Order allowed anywhere near her and from what I’ve heard even she doesn’t bother.
Friar Turk – The Magnificent Princess Wrangler of the First Order recently said that the Princess could have visitors in January, but she has changed her mind because apparently it will cost too much money.
Robyn – Too much money to allow her to have visitors? But they make us pay to see her! That doesn’t make sense. You mean it’s cheaper to keep her shut away on her own in the tower? It sounds to me as if the Magnificent Princess Wrangler doesn’t want to have to work for her money.
Turk – She has said that no one will be allowed to see the Princess again until the end of June.
Robyn – It’s really not good enough. From what I’ve heard the Squire has had to spend not just our money but money from all over the country to keep the Princess happy. Can we really afford to do that?
Turk – No, not really. And I hear the Squire is sending out his tax collectors again.
Robyn – AGAIN? I thought he had the Open Spaces Team plant more magic money beans? What happened to them?
Turk – The Open Spaces Team discovered that the Squire didn’t own any land in either Smallvillia or Dullford, so the only place they could plant them was between the cracks at Hayloft Palace and even though the cracks are deep and plentiful and full of crap, the magic money beans didn’t grow.
Robyn – Typical.
Turk – I’ve also heard that some of the Squire’s cronies are unhappy with his behaviour and are planning to leave.
Robyn – Really? Life would be a bit difficult for him if he doesn’t have his cronies doing what he tells them. This could get very interesting.
Turk – Yes, the villagers are saying that they have had enough and are looking to mount a coup to take control of Hayloft Palace.
Robyn – Then we must rally the troops and try to help them. Let us go into Smallvillia and talk to the villagers.
Robyn slaps her thigh once again before pulling the hood of her anorak over her head and pulling the drawstring tightly. She and her Not-So-Happy-Men depart stage right.