The SomersetClive Christmas Pantomime. Act One. Scene Five.

CliveNation in conjunction with SomersetClive is proud to present the Christmas Pantomime, with an all-star cast and seats more comfortable than those at the White Elephant Enclosure, we invite you to join us for an amateur production of the world premiere of The Princess and the Forty Thieves. Showing thrice daily.

Our story opens deep in the heart of Somerset, where the Squire of Teflon rules the sleepy little villages of Smallvillia and Dullford with a rod. Of iron.

The Squire is used to getting his own way and woe-betide anyone who foils his plans for the Squire is not to be crossed.

Act One. Scene Five.
The lights go up to reveal the Squire and his cronies seated in Hayloft Palace.

SquireMy Princess Wrangler has quit. He’s moved on to wrangle a different Princess in another part of the country. Sandy Pullover did an excellent job during his time with the Princess and I can’t thank him enough for all the effort he has put in over the past two years. He has not only overseen her wardrobe, but he has also taken owning a Princess to a level we have never seen before in Smallvillia. Not that anyone in Smallvillia has ever owned a Princess in Smallvillia before, but if they had then mine is better.

Crony C (Cllr Eloise Barking) Oh no! This is a disaster. You’ll never manage to control your Princess without a professional. What are you going to do now?

SquireGet another Wrangler of course. In fact, I already have one. Ladies and gentlemen allow me to introduce Sandy Sawnoffshotgun. If anyone can make that Princess pay her way it’s him.

Sandy Sawnoffshotgun enters the scene. He takes the Squire’s hand and the pair prance around the stage.

Sandy I’ve come to help dry your tears
Experience? I have many years.
I’ve worked with Princesses all over the place.
I’m sure I can put a smile back on your face.

SquireSandy will help me dry my tears.
Experience spanning 16 years.
Worked with Princesses in different places
He will bring a smile back to our faces.

Cllr BarkingErrrm. Sir? Didn’t you just repeat what Sandy said?

Squire I couldn’t think of a different way to sing his praises. Now stop interrupting.

Squire continues singing – I am confident Sandy is the man
If he can’t do it no one can.
Obviously it will take more money
But soon our Princess will be everyone’s honey.

Sandy leaves the stage and the lights dim.

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