Council confirms loss of lead

Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council has confirmed the recent discovery that all the Town Councillors have lost the lead from their pencils.

Confirming the loss Smalltown New Admistration Guru, Katie Global added “We don’t really know when or why it happened, but over recent months I’ve noticed that something is decidedly lacking. Things haven’t been right in the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) for some time.

When I first joined the council, the councillors were perky, virile and up to the job. Keen and eager, it was hard to keep some of them down.

But gradually I’ve seen a huge decline in their eagerness to make a change and they now slope into Hayloft Road Palace looking limp and dejected. Once inside they try their best to blend into the background and not draw attention to themselves. They have lost their self esteem and become impotent.

We did look into making an insurance claim to replace the missing lead, before deciding that it would involve an awful lot of paperwork, so instead I took £3,494 from petty cash to G. W. Hurlings and purchased some new pencils.

Unfortunately this hasn’t improved the situation. However, Squire Teflon has offered to share some of his ‘special blue pills’, which he says he orders in bulk and always jeep to habd, so a solution could be in the pipeline.

It is thought that the missing lead may have been stolen by the same person who absconded with the SaD Town councillors’ marbles some time ago, but this is as yet unconfirmed.

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