SaDTC look to increase property portfolio

The Old School.

Smalltown Mayor and Headmistress at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and BeFuddled Ex-teachers (and Others) has been spotted, accompanied by Smalltown’s Most Popular Person (Dullbridge Public Enemy No.1), Jock McCads, checking out the facilities at the old Smalltown Infant School.

The pair were observed in the playground where, after a quick game of HopScots, Cllr McCads pointed out the roof, chimney, and window frames to Cllr Dullard.

The School, opposite the White Elephant Enclosure, is in the ownership of the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council and has been closed for several years.

A source close to Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council said “It has long been the intention of SaDTC to get rid of Hayloft Palace, as it is a massive drain on resources, so it makes perfect sense to sell it off.

Obviously this move would leave SaDTC homeless and Professional Town Councillor, Mark Facelift, would no longer have a Smalltown address, which is a bit of a problem. So the idea of selling one old, draughty building in need of expensive maintenance and purchasing a different old, draughty building in need of expensive maintenance is the best option.”

Observers have noticed that Headmistress Councillor Dullard has recently taken to paying hire charges to hold meetings at King Ethelred’s School, claiming that she “prefers the atmosphere and feels more at home in a school setting“, rather than making use of SaDTC’s existing facilities at the WEE or Hayloft Palace.

The source claimed that purchasing the old school will also see opportunities to teach the new BeFuddled Party Councillors how to be Councillors, something which is sorely needed as, despite having had almost five months to learn the ropes, the majority still don’t have a clue.

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