Smalltown and Dullbridge Missing Person, Tim Teepee, has been found safe and well. Teepee, well known locally for frequently vanishing without trace and going incommunicado, has been apprehended and taken to a place of safety – a cupboard at the Westminster Home for the Criminally and Mentally Insane.
Teepee will be joined there by another famous Somerset Missing Person, Jacob Cheese-Toff, who was captured at the same time.
A spokesperson for the Westminster Home said “We managed to catch these two very easily, as they actually came to us! We found them both wandering our corridors looking for help.”
It is understood that Smalltown’s Missing Person attracted the attention of the Men in White Coats when he was heard crying “Please, please can I have my old job back? I’ve done everything Mrs Thrust asked. I supported her right from the start, after I’d stopped supporting Mr Monsoon. Please. You won’t even know I’m here.”
Meanwhile, Jacob Cheese-Toff was spotted in a corner shouting “Don’t you know who I am? I’m the Duke of Wellington. I say, get your hands off me, you peasant. Don’t touch my suit. I’m the Duke of Wellington, I tell you.”