There was good news at last for Squire Teflon as it was revealed that he has won a promotion at work.
Previously employed as a paper boy at his close-friend Mistress Bones’ Newspaper and Tat Emporium, the Squire has recently been spotted stacking shelves in the establishment.
Mistress Bones confirmed the appointment saying “Now that the Squire had seen a decline in his income, due to losing his benefits as Vice-chair for the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, and with the forthcoming demise of Sadgebore District Council causing yet more pressures on his cash flow, it became obvious that he needed to find a way to supplement his Albanian Whisky purchase fund.
He’s been at a bit of a loose end recently. When he finishes his morning paper round he returns to the shop and has taken to hanging around all day, getting under my feet.
So it seemed natural to make use of his talents. I’ve had him trotting in and out of my stock room, replenishing the tat on the shelves and he’s made such a good job of it that I’ve promoted him to the position of Director In Charge of Keeping Heights of Effects and Assets on Display
(DICKHEAD). Hopefully this will keep him busy.”
Squire Teflon confirmed that he was delighted with his new role, telling SomersetClive “I‘ve always felt that my talents are exactly what is required to be a DICKHEAD, so I’m really pleased that Mistress Bones has recognised my abilities in this way. Now you’ll have to excuse me – the balls display needs topping up.”