There was dismay in Smalltown and Dullbridge on Friday when it emerged that the Towns hadn’t been awarded Metropolitan Urban District (MUD) status as part of the Queen’s Jubilee celebrations.
The Titanium Jubilee civic honours competition required applicants to show their cultural heritage and royal links as well as how their local identity and communities meant they deserved to be granted MUD status.
Speaking to SomersetClive from the Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council, cleaner Sally Grimes said “There’s no one in the office apart from me, but I’ve found a crumpled piece of paper in the bin marked ‘Press Release’ – shall I read that out?”
Statement released to mark the occasion of Smalltown and Dullbridge achieving Metroplitan Urban District status.
“Town Councillors in Smalltown and Dullbridge are delighted to announce that the application to have our towns declared as a MUD has been successful.
We were very confident about our application, because we fulfilled all the requirements.
Our Royal links stretch back years, with Smalltown mooted as the birthplace of King Ethelred the Unready in 968 AD and we have maintained the tradition of being unready ever since. A trait recently highlighted by our being unready for the Jubilee because we forgot to budget for it and also left it too late to plant a single tree to commemorate the occasion.
Culturally we have the White Elephant Enclosure, which Squire Teflon saved for the nation and which we’ve paid through the nose for ever since. Our idea for the Outdoor Venue for Entertainment and Recreation in Smalltown and Dullbridge (OVERSAD) to be situated near the WEE, will see an area of Smalltown dedicated to culture.
And who can forget all the culture that Smalltown’s most popular person, Jock McCads, brings to the area with his various parties.
Smalltown already has vast quantities of mud, so we are proud that this attribute has now been formally recognised.”
SomersetClive asked Mrs Grimes if there was a more up to date statement available but she couldn’t find one. Also in the bin she found a receipt for the purchase of a yet another new Town sign, however, this had a handwritten note scrawled across it – which read ‘Cancelled:- Never talk about this again.’