Continuing our epic retelling of the greatest love story ever told. Soon to be turned into a six-part drama by Channel 94.
The story so far…
Squire Teflon has helped Mistress Bones with funding for her dream to bring a world record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink to Smalltown, in return for a favour or two or 16,000. They have agreed to keep their relationship a secret from significant others, friends and the residents and electorate of Smalltown.
Chapter Seven.
“I’m so excited” she said, gazing up into her Squire’s eyes. “It’s all systems go. My world record breaking Olympic-sized swimming pool and ice rink will be opening very soon with a fun fair and other crowd-pullers and it will be able to take up to 25 skaters at a time. It will be lit and there will be carols and it WILL be fun for all the family.”
“I know my love, you haven’t stopped talking about it. I much prefer it when you don’t talk and I can make use of your mouth in other ways. By the way, don’t forget to assure everyone that it will bring in residents and visitors alike, and you also need to thank everyone who has helped you so far. Especially me.”
“Yes – for those new to the town it will showcase what we have to offer and no doubt they will be back once they see what we have to offer especially in terms of independent shops, cafes and bars. I don’t think I can ever thank you enough, and I’m sure the residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge will also want to thank you for spending their hard-earned council tax in this imaginative and lucrative way.”
“I can help you show me your appreciation. And I’m happy to extend my ideas for ways to demonstrate their thanks to the residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge too.”
“The Rink will send out a message far and wide that we are a town which likes to put on a show and welcomes families. It’s going to be wonderful and I’m confident it will draw in the crowds.”
“I’m sure it will my little love doughnut. Now about showing me your appreciation…”
“Not now, my Squirey Squirellfulness. I need to draw up a rota of volunteers.”
“You will make sure that we do our volunteer duties – manning the rink – together, won’t you?” He asked anxiously. “I don’t want to get stuck volunteering with the other members of my harem. I mean – they have their uses, but not as many uses as you.“
“Don’t you worry. I will make sure we are always together. No one will suspect that it’s a cover for extra canoodling time for us.”
“I hope the rink surface won’t be too slippery for what I have in mind.”
“I’m sure it won’t. The manufacturers say that it is suitable for stops, turns, twirls and other gymnastics, so that should see us fully covered for all positions. But there’s also lubricant available if we need anything more slippery.”
He licked his lips with anticipation.” I don’t think I can listen to much more. Fancy a quickie?”