As the whole of Somerset, including Smalltown and Dullbridge, waits with baited breath for the election results to be announced so that they can get on with their lives and not have to read umpteen stories about elections in their favourite news publication, SomersetClive, we asked famous spiritualist and sceptic, Mystic Mick, to dust off his crystal ball and give us the benefit of his foresight.
We watched in awe as he put himself into that familiar trance-like state.
“Everything is red. I see only red. Whole swathes of Somerset are red. I predict enormous gains for the Worker Party throughout the region.”
We asked him if he could be more specific when it came to the results for the Smalltown and Dullbridge election for the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council.
“Red. Definitely Red. All available seats won by the Worker Party.”
We let slip a frown, but asked Mick about the results for Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council.
“More red. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much red in the Smalltown and Dullbridge area. It looks like enormous gains for the Worker Party.”
At this point we decided to ask Mick if he realised that there were no Worker Party candidates standing in either Smalltown or Dullbridge and asked if we could possibly check his crystal ball for any obvious defects.
Mystic Mick became rather huffy at this point, but did allow us a glimpse of his ball. It was at this point that we discovered that the cloth he had used to dust it had previously been used to wipe paintbrushes and the entire crystal ball was covered in smears of red paint.