Police were called to the centre of Dullbridge yesterday following reports of the discovery of a suspicious object found in a garden.
“I wasn’t too concerned at first when I saw all the police cars gathering in the Asdal supermarket car park. It’s quite a common sight because they like to pop in there to get a sandwich for their lunch and everyone knows that it’s safer to visit Asdal in groups of four.” said local resident Karen Bead.
“As time went on, more police vehicles arrived and they started to cordon off parts of Dullbridge. They set up a Mobile Incident Room in the car park, I still didn’t think it was anything out of the ordinary. Then they started asking residents to disperse and leave the area, again, nothing unusual about that.”
Police were called to the scene after a resident discovered what was suspected to be an ordnance device in their back garden. Initially it was thought that Squire Teflon had carried out his threat to ‘nuke Dullbridge’ as part of his new scheme to keep control of Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council by separating the two towns and thus getting rid of all the non-illiberal councillors.
Having looked at the object for some time the Police decided to call in the experts.
Karen told SomersetClive “Things really started to get exciting when the team from the Smalltown Area Ship Hovercraft Helicopter and Explosive Device Detonation (SMASHHEDD) arrived. It was then that I began to worry.”
The SMASHHEDD crew donned their protective overalls and gathered around the object for a good look.
“It’s important to carry out a full investigation in these circumstances so we know exactly what we are dealing with. After an hour or so of looking we were pretty confident that we were the right team for the job and we carefully started to remove the soil around the object until it was fully exposed. It was at that point that one of our crew members recognised the item as the lid to a ‘Family Choice’ biscuit tin, circa 1938.
We have a lot of experience with biscuit tins and their lids, so we were able to lift it from its resting place and dispose of it safely.
We then gave all the residents a safety talk about the dangers they can expect to encounter at the seaside, before returning to our base to hose down our equipment. Dealing with biscuit tin lids is thirsty work, so we had a nice cup of tea and some gingernuts.”