More Jubilee trees

Two more local groups have got their acts together to achieve something that Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council can’t – planting trees to mark Queen Victoria II’s Titanium Jubilee.

Smalltown Association of Women (SAW) were joined outside their meeting place by a big, strong man from the Red Ruby Garden Centre and watched on as he dug a hole and planted a tree for them.

“We were delighted when Red Ruby donated this tree for us, and we were also very pleased when their representative, Chester Drawers, took off his shirt to facilitate planting it. It was the perfect way for us to honour the Queen.” said SAW member Stella Parry.

Meanwhile, the Society of Secret Secrets and Guileful Enigmatic Secrets (SOSSAGES), donned aprons, rolled up their left trouser legs and put paper bags over their heads to unveil two trees at Circles Pencil.

Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Mayor, Mark Facelift, a member of SOSSAGES, led proceedings, ably assisted by his Deputy Mayor and fellow SOSSAGE, Handy Bodge.

Their roles are likely to be reversed in the near future as Bodge has been nominated for the position of Grand HooHah of the SOSSAGES, which is the reason why he has stepped down from SaD Town Council and will no longer be taking over the Mayoral chains.

(Mr Editor, Sir? Emma here. I wish to object in the strongest terms to Steve’s reporting of the SAW ceremony. He is still writing his misogynistic tripe. I happen to know that the members of SAW were ready and willing to plant their own tree, but Mr Drawers wouldn’t let them use the spade. Can you have a word with Steve please? And can you also ask him to hand over the tickets for free cider at the Blitz Social Club Beer Festival?

Emma – I’ve asked Steve to include the photo of Mr Drawers – I hope this meets with your approval?

Yes, Sir. That’s much better sir. Thank you.

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