Mystery surrounds the identity of the Illiberal Party candidate who was caught short and captured on a resident’s CCTV system relieving himself in their garden.
The man, described as aged over 60, with white hair and around 5ft 9in in height was caught in all his glory peeing in a garden in the Sinners area of Smalltown Posh.
“I’d heard the sound of someone struggling to push propaganda through my letter box earlier in the day, so thought I’d check my video footage to see who it was”, said a resident who, for obvious reasons, wishes to remain anonymous. “When I reviewed the footage there was a very clear image of one of the candidates peeing against my bush. I couldn’t believe it. He certainly won’t be getting my vote.”
SomersetClive’s reporter has attempted to track down the identity of the phantom pee’er by showing the resident photographs of the candidates, but after viewing the first photo (of Squire Teflon) the resident covered their eyes with their fingers and screamed “PLEASE. NO MORE PHOTOS. . MY NERVES WON’T TAKE IT.”