This week SomersetClive reviews the accuracy of claims made by political parties in the running for the forthcoming Smalltown & Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council election.
First up, current rulers of the Hayloft Road Palace, the Illiberals of Squire Teflon, his close friend Mistress Bones, and associated supplicants.
Claim: “We will keep Smalltown Posh Illiberal”
Fact: There are two BeFuddleds on Smalltown & Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council representing Posh.
Claim: “The £394,000 of grant funding that Illiberal SaD Council secured has gone towards tidying up the town”
Facts: Around half of the cash went to Squire Teflon’s White Elephant Enclosure (WEE). The success of the WEE is conspicuous by its absence in the leaflet.
Other works are still being finished, even if it is almost four years since the grant was secured.
SaD Town Council was just one part of the group that gained the money. Other participants included the founders, Sadgebore Council and the Smalltown Chamber of Trade (SCOT) and the Squire’s nemesis, local business tycoon Lex Turkey.
Claim: “The South Promenade Theme Park work will be started very soon”
Fact: At a cost of £59,400 more than budgeted as nobody on the illiberal controlled SaD Town Council investigated the Special South Promenade Constitution before signing the contract.
Claim: “We have kept your Council
Tax low”
Fact: The Illiberal controlled Town Council has put up Council Tax up by 15.94% since the last election.
Claim: “We have employed Town Rangers”
Fact: SaD Town Council redeployed cemetery workers as part of a review of staff, which has seen nine resignations since the last election including the SHAG, SHAM, SMUG and previous SCAM.
Claim: “We have supported numerous charities & organisations”
Fact: Friends of illiberals, or those hiring the White Elephant Enclosure, stand the best chance of support.
Claim: “We will continue to work hard with our traders”
Fact: As the Squire said to the Mistress. The Illiberal established Smalltown Shops (SS) as the successor to Smalltown and Dullbridge Duplicated Events by Sycophants Team (SaDDEST) to be a compliant and politically tame replacement for the neutral SCOT.
Claim: “We will work alongside the Police to put in place procedures to discourage antisocial behaviour”
Fact: Removing Squire Teflon’s access to AceCrook and SaD Town Council emails would reduce antisocial behaviour.
Clive’s Crap Check rating: 9/10.
Stunning effort by Squire Teflon and cult, to assemble a leaflet full of error & omission.