“Love in a Smalltown” – Easter Special

Squire Teflon’s vision of Mistress Bones as a Bunny Girl didn’t quite live up to his expectations.

A special holiday treat for SomersetClive readers. Happy Easter

“Come on my darling. I’ve a surprise for you. We need a break from all that unwarranted abuse we are receiving on the doorstep from Smalltown Posh residents during our election campaign. Meet me at GW Hurling at 8pm. I’ve got a spare key. We won’t be disturbed.”

Mistress Bones felt her face flush. What was her Squire Teflon planning as an Easter Treat? As she approached the GW Hurling doors she could hear Journey’s ‘Don’t stop believing’ playing in the background. A metaphor perhaps for their receding election chances. Damn that Horace Monsoon and his partying. They were going to get a good spanking.

The back door was on the latch and taking a deep breath entered. Noting the coldness of the evening the Mistress looked forward to the warm embrace of her Squire. And there he was. And Mistress Bones could not contain her laughter. Her close friend was dressed in a white rabbit’s costume.

“I am your Easter Bunny my dear. And you can be mine. I’ve brought an outfit for you too. Hop into it and then we can be at it like rabbits together!”

It was a tight fit around her curves. Squire Teflon took her hand and together they admired the 9,400 chocolate Easter Eggs the Smalltown Shops (SS) had sequestered from cowering local business for no good reason.

But then disaster struck. The Squire tripped over Mistress Bones’ tail. The pre rendez-vous bottle of Albanian Whiskey must have impaired his balance. Landing on top of the Mistress was not a rare occurrence for the Squire but not in close proximity to a chocolate egg pyramid that was towering over them both.

Time seemed to pause as they lay there prostrate in their bunny costumes. It was only appropriate that the first piece of chocolate that hit them was a Lindt Gold Bunny. And then another. A cascade of chocolate eggs rained down on them from above.

Trapped and impaled, Mistress Bones recoiled into Squire Teflon for security. How would they get out of this scrape? The Mistress started to have her doubts as the Squire slurred “I was the future once”. Mistress Bones comforted her close friend “Have faith my love, this will be our BEST ever escape.”

As ‘The Climb’ by Miley Cyrus started to play, the close friends started to dig at the chocolate pile that with their body heat was starting to melt. The Squire and the Mistress knew time was short to pull off the greatest resurrection in 2000 years.

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