Following on from the resignations of the Smalltown Media and Uproar Genius (SMUG) and the Smalltown Head Administration Guru (SHAG), the Smalltown Head of Accounts and Malfeasance has also quit her position.
In a statement the SHAM said “It’s becoming increasingly difficult to cook the books for Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council and, quite frankly, this job would be better suited to someone with the mathematical talents of Carol Voldemort. I just can’t come up with the new and creative accountancy skills that Squire Teflon requires.”
This will leave only the Deputy SHAG in the Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council office until replacements are found and the vacancies filled. However, at a recent Council meeting, councillors agreed that the Deputy SHAG could reduce her working hours to a four-day week, so Squire Teflon will have to take time off from his job delivering papers to answer the phones single-handedly on a Friday.