Following the recent disagreement in the SomersetClive office and the complaints from our female employees about ‘Misogynistic Males in the Workplace’ ‘Equality for Women in the SomersetClive Office’ and the introduction of our own ‘Womenopause Policy’, the Editor is pleased to announce that star-reporter, Nigella Garage has been demoted (Ed – I said PROmoted) to the dizzy heights of ‘Dullbridge Correspondent’.
Here’s her first report from Behind the Barricades.
They say nothing much happens in Dullbridge, always bottom of the pile when it comes to council tax spending and widely seen as a ‘dumping ground’ for Sadgebore District Council’s ASBO council tenants, but it’s not all doom and gloom here.
* A handful of residents can often be seen sitting on the benches in Jumbly Gardens making the most of the weather and planting cigarette butts and cider cans, ever hopeful that they will take root and bring forth fruit. They like to wave and gesticulate at passing pedestrians and motorists and it makes for a very cheery atmosphere as they hail passers-by with a friendly “Wot ya looking at? Go on – feck off.”.
* There was great excitement recently when a Very Large HGV low-loader drove through the town, almost dismantling the roundabout by what is left of Jumbly Gardens. It narrowly missed collecting a lot of parked cars as well.
* Residents have received election material from the Illiberal party, with the usual half facts and lies. SomersetClive has been unable to obtain a copy of the leaflet because residents consigned them to the recycling bin on receipt.
* The Illiberal party candidates for the Dullbridge Ward in the forthcoming election for the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council are Jim Woodenman and Alan Bentley. With the abolition of Sadgebore District Council, this leaves Cllr Jane NotBothered without a seat to fight for and both she and her husband, Robert, have resigned from the Illiberal Party.
* It’s not all bad news though, as Robert NotBothered plans to stand as an ‘Illiberal Candidate in all but Name’ in the Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council election.