Health advice issued

The Health Authority in Somerset has advised residents in Smalltown that, until further notice, they will need to go from ‘Feeling a bit peaky’ to ‘Dead’, bypassing ‘Seek medical advice’ entirely

The advice follows the news that Smalltown Medical Centre has been placed under special measures and will no longer be accepting patients.

A spokessyringe for the Health Service said “Due to a number of factors it has been totally impossible to get an appointment to see a GP in Smalltown for some time. The Medical Centre now has far more administration staff than it does medically trained professionals and, whilst the reception staff have done their utmost to protect doctors from having to see patients, we have received a large number of complaints from residents about the level of service in the town.

We are therefore advising those people who feel unwell not to bother adding to their health woes by trying to seek medical assistance. We know how stressful this can be – constantly having the phone on redial in the vain hope that someone the other end will pick up the receiver and with the added stress of knowing that even if their call is answered it will result in a cheery voice saying “I’m sorry, we don’t have any appointments left. Could you call back next year?” We know this is frustrating so would advise against it.”

Somerset Health have suggested that Smalltown residents try to sign up with Dullbridge Medical Centre but this may also prove impossible, due to the ever-increasing number of homes in Dullbridge being granted planning permission by Sadgebore District Council with no consideration to infrastructure meaning that school places, medical services and public transport are already under immense pressure.

The advice from Somerset Health Service is that if you are feeling unwell you should take yourself off to bed and fade away peacefully. This will help alleviate the strain on the surgery.

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