Hellhole expansion

Hellhole Holiday Park

Residents are divided by plans put forward by Hellhole Holiday Park to develop the site into a ‘Mini Galstonbury’.

Hellhole, which recently gained planning approval from Sadgebore District Cluncil to add a further 94 static caravans to the site as part of the payback for not objecting to the proposed Playpen, has applied for a variation to their licensing conditions to allow the park to play loud music 24/7, 365 days of the year. The plans include a new outside stage area and a bar serving alcohol.

Residents living nearby are trying to garner support to oppose the plans, citing a possible rise in crime and disorder, public nuisance and the need to protect children from harm.

One objector claimed that, if approved, the plans would pave the way for alcohol consumption and drug use on the streets of Smalltown, effectively turning the town into another Easton-under-Water or, even worse, Dullbridge.

However, owners of ‘holiday homes’ (static caravans) on the site immediately sprang to the defence of Hellhole saying “We come several times a year and always spend a lot of money using the Park’s facilities. Everything we need is there and we have no need to venture into Smalltown to spend our cash. Without us there would be no Hellhole.”

Several residents supported this view “I work at Hellhole and we need to have some late night entertainment for our guests, there’s nothing to do in Smalltown after 5pm, so where else will they go?”

“The local economy relies on Hellhole. Imagine how awful Smalltown would be if it didn’t have holidaymakers. There would be no tat shops or pizza takeaways.”

Squire Teflon welcomed the plans noting ‘It’s always good to have a late night venue serving alcohol for those times when you find yourself low on Albanian Whisky. This will enable me to get a top up at an hour when I need to be sending important, abusive emails to people who have upset me.”

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