A new local pressure group for Smalltown residents has been established to take on the vested interests of Smalltown Shops (SS). It is to be known as ‘Abolish Smalltown Shops’ (ASS).
A spokesbody for the new ASS said: “We have been concerned that Lady Penelope Brassy of Easton-under-Water is the Chief Puppet of Mistress Bones and Squire Teflon and their election campaign. She claims to speak for Smalltown businesses when our independent research suggests she says what she wants without consultation. Any dissent from her view in the SS LotsCrap group is not tolerated. The power she seems to wield with no mandate is extraordinary. The views of residents who are her customers are not taken into account in her decision making.
She has prevented the European Arts Gifts Edibles Revlery (EAGER) event in the Summer, which residents and visitors would have enjoyed, and is waging an intolerable vendetta against the Farmhouse-Kitcheners and their Cheese and other events, which is the highlight of the social calendar (surely that’s Carnivoo? – Ed) Lady Brassy has become a right pain in the ASS. Which is where we come in, to stand up to the power of the SS, and speak up for the residents as the Smalltown & Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council does not.”
SomersetClive’s reporter has heard a whisper that Lady Brassy will be getting her reward from the Squire and the Mistress in the form of an Illiberal Town Council seat. ASS has confirmed it is not a political group but is aligned with the values communicated by the Smalltown and Dullbridge Independent Super Team (SADISTs).