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Local residents were on tenterhooks this weekend, following a series of rumblings from dormant volcano, Mount Teflon. On a number of occasions, social media posts have included a series of ill-tempered rumblings, sounds of distant thundering and clouds of superheated steam.
The mountain erupts regularly, but is considered dormant as few of its puffs of smoke amount to much more than a minor distraction for locals. However, an increase in seismic activity in the bowels of the mountain appear to be building up to a more significant explosion.
It is unknown what has caused this recent uptick in activity, but experts have noted a recent delivery of prime Albanian Whiskey to the area, followed by the announcement of an annual programme of cheese festivals across Sadgebore. All of these have been known in the past to arouse the ire in the bowels of Mount Teflon. Once on a path to eruption, most locals head out to watch in amusement as the Mountain belches forth unpleasant fumes, before desperately trying to retract them. Despite the inert nature of the lava flow, locals are advised not to get to close as the effusions can be poisonous.
Formerly known as Toad Island, the mountain was home to a prehistoric settlement of the Tefloniciae people, a primitive race of polygamous early humans who wielded huge clubs which they tucked into their rudimentary loin cloths. As they grew more aggressive and war-like, so the weapons increased in size until they were unable to carry them in the customary manner. It is this which historians believe gave rise to the saying ‘can’t keep it in their pants‘ which is still applied to descendants of the Tefloniciae today. Later, the mountain was known as Trent Hillock after the founder of an enclave of wealthy locals who were eventually torn apart by planning disputes started by their leader, Rob Cinecamera.
The minor bump on the landscape was finally renamed Mount Teflon at the bidding of The Mistress, who has been heard to exclaim the phrase loudly from the seedy depths of the White Elephant Enclosure.
Amateur vulcanologists continue to monitor Mount Teflon from a safe distance, looking for any signs of life.