Smalltown Coastguard are seeking would-be heroes to join their ranks.
Do you:-
* LIke biscuits?
* Enjoy using a hose?
* Wear your underpants over your trousers?
* Prefer to have your back to the camera when appearing in photos?
Can you:-
* Perform quick-change routines in telephone boxes?
* Drive quickly through Smalltown without running anyone over to reach our base?
Would you like to:-
* Take part in Carnivoo?
* Boss around members of Smalltown Area Ship, Hovercraft and Helicopter (SMASHH) and the Really Needy Lifesaviing Agency (RNLA) ?
If so Smalltown Coastguard needs YOU!
We are the only government-funded marine rescue service in Smalltown and we have access to our own helicopters (unlike SMASHH, who are still saving up for theirs).
Contact Smalltown Coastguard now for an application form.
If they’ll teach me to fly the helicopter I’ll give it a bash. I’ll need help getting into it though unless there’s a stairlift