Knitted balls brighten up Dullbridge

Balls.

Thousands of knitted balls popped up around Dullbridge over the weekend, as part of a festive protest bombing.

Over 9,400 balls were hung from fences, trees and gateposts in what is believed to be a protest by residents angry that Dullbridge has been forgotten for Christmas Light funding yet again by Squire Teflon and his Illiberal Cronies. It comes after SaD Town Council raised objections to opening the petty cash box and forking out another £9.40 to replace the missing bulb from the Dullbridge Christmas Light in Jumbly Gardens.

No one has yet come forward to claim responsibility for the bombing, but it is believed that members of the Dullbridge Liberation Front may be behind the action.

An anonymous spokesperson said “We hope that residents will take the balls home with them, fill them full of rocks and lob them at any members of Smalltown Town Council who accidentally get lost in Dullbridge.”

(Steve – have you been in the Hoopers again? I think you will find that they are BELLS – Ed.)

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