The Department of Wind & Precipitation have today issued an urgent weather warning for a very specific part of Smalltown. The Purple warning, regarded as more severe than red as it’s the colour The Squire turns when things don’t go to plan, affects the southern part of Smalltown’s seafront, known as the Lessplanade.
Professor Camilla Nimbus of the Meteor Logical office told Somerset Clive: “It’s long been know that this part of Smalltown has a unique microclimate. Nothing much grows on it’s concrete surface, and the boringly empty grassland areas are rarely visited by any but the hardiest of tourists“
Storm Neville is set to sweep in on Sunday evening, blowing away all signs of life, structures devoted to fun or enjoyment and anything resembling a playground or mini-golf course. It is expected that this regular weather event will not adversely affect the residents of nearby Kumquat Court – a brutalist housing development which lines the Lessplanade. A local resident who didn’t wish to remember their name said “we’ve managed to live here for around 135 years, and don’t plan to go anywhere anytime soon“