In a desperate attempt to sell tickets to performances at the White Elephant Enclosure, the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM) has come up with a brilliant wheeze. The SCAM commented: “I’ve looked at our ticket sales for the next few months and, whilst we’ve sold at least two tickets for most of them, I’ve decided that perhaps a discount would be welcomed by the ungrateful residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge who don’t seem to understand that we need to make a success of this venture to ensure that the Squire’s acquisition looks to have been a good idea.“
The SCAM continued: “If you buy tickets today you can benefit from a massive 9.4 percent saving when you book to see one of our never-ending long line of tribute bands, appearing on the stage at the WEE. Yes, you could see the same sort of band in one of the local hostelries for free, but you’d have to buy a pint of beer in there and who wouldn’t prefer to see Bill Collins from the comfort of a chair, nursing a nice cup of tea?“
Book now to ensure disappointment.