Following the last minute cancellation by the SS pig roast provider, Squire Teflon stepped in at the last minute to be the pig.
Accepting the £2000 town council grant for services rendered and claiming “I’ll be okay. I won’t burn. I’m Teflon coated. Look at me! I’ve saved the day. Again.”
Skewered and hung above the fire to be spit roasted Squire Teflon remarked “It’s getting hot on here, Ladies take off all your clothes.”
The Smalltown Head of Administration Genius (SHAG) reminded the Squire that the Council had a duty to equal opportunities and that all persons should be directed to take off their clothes.
However, the Mayor stepped in and pointed out that nobody wanted to see any member’s member. Despite the fact that the Squire’s member is reputedly well travelled.