Twp Step comes to Smalltown

The former Smalltown Workhouse

In a shock move today it has been confirmed that the retail chain Two Step plan to open in Smalltown.

The company have confirmed that they will be opening in the premises formerly occupied by the local Workhouse, which closed in 1877 and has been empty ever since.

A spokesperson for Two Step, Harold (Harry) Budget told SomersetClive “The company already operates a Two Step in nearby Dullbridge, which is very popular with visitors to Jumbly Gardens. It is hoped that by opening a further shop in Smalltown we can attract a similar clientale to visit the nearby Estuary Bay.”

SaD Town Council issued a statement which reads “We are aware that Smalltown residents wanted the site to be used for something more interesting and imaginative, rather than another shop. We did apply for Government funding to help with this but, quite frankly, we were relieved when the application didn’t get approval because we really can’t be ar$ed.”

Local resident Edith Busybody said “At least it’ll be a change from a hair salon, estate agents, pizza takeaway or charity shop. But why here? I thought this was earmarked to be the Museum of Nothing.”

Local retail expert Miss Jan Morris confirmed this by adding “In Smalltown we currently have 94 hair salons, 94 estate agents, 94 charity shops and, with the opening of the new pizza shop earlier this month, we now have 94 of those too.”

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